Those who have witnessed the vicissitudes and struggles of my life over the last two decades have occasionally commented on my persistence in fighting the monolith of injustice that has me here wrongfully. What is it that you want from life so bad that makes you find yourself unable or unwilling to concede the game and accept defeat? Do you want wealth, fame, maybe power? Is it knowledge or love you are after? Revenge? Is it great food, sex, or maybe something you're not even aware of but for some reason believe you'll find?
All these questions have found their way to me in one form or another over the years, usually following another defeat in the courts. Surprisingly, the answers to these questions are not as complicated or simple as the implication might seem. What keeps me persisting is simply the beauty and magnanimity of the human genius, and for those who know me best that might seem laughable given how readily I agree with Satre, in that, “hell is other people,” but while human interaction can seem tedious the genius that has always flowed from us mere mortals has always fascinated me.
I have always been drawn to places like New York City, Mexico City, London, Paris, Madrid, Rome, to name but a few, because there is human genius on display everywhere you look. There is depravity, too, the two seem to walk hand-in-hand—where there is one there is the other. Museums, pyramids, temples, all of them uniquely sharing the brilliance of the light that is their individual and collective geniuses that shine upon us all. It would be a pleasure to spend a hundred lifetimes on reading, watching, listening, learning, and otherwise experiencing genius in all its various forms. But unfortunately most will not experience a hundred lifetimes in a single consciousness. And, then, there is the challenge and dare of living in the moment in pursuit of our own genius; which, I admit, is what compels me to walk from the darkness of this prison into the light of the world. Ironically enough, not in pursuit of the greatness or aforementioned fame, rather, in honor and gratitude for the light that has illumined our minds and brought us forth from the darkness of ignorance.
I believe that to be bestowed with a gift or talent filled with the potential for beauty and greatness, and ignore it, in favor of fear or laziness, is the epitome of evil. It's suicide and murder in their most horrific forms, and a slanderous insult to the immutable power that has bestowed this blessing upon us.
I am not a fan of popular American sports like football or basketball. But I’m the first to admit that when I first saw Michael Jordan play I was mesmerized by his poetry in motion. Even more so when I began to play tennis, soccer, beach volleyball, or find joy in long distance running. Because I immediately understood that to display true genius and achieve greatness at anything requires the concentrated effort of an atom bomb, an effort that few are willing to expend. Which is partly what makes genius so beautiful, is that it's so rare.
Yet, even when we immerse ourselves in all the various forms of human genius there is still something missing. The missing element eluded me for years, until nearly 3 years of solitary confinement brought me to confront the questions of my own humanity and the mortality that comes with it. I lacked an understanding of who I was in relation to what I was, and though I was eager to learn and understand I wasn't entirely sure where to begin.
I studied the religions of the world as though I were a medical student preparing to operate on myself. I read scriptures, meditated, studied competing philosophies, asked my own questions, and most importantly embarked on the odyssey of knowing thyself. All of it brought me to the singular truth of Virtue as the missing anomaly that completes genius.
But, what is virtue? That in itself was a study, but I didn't need books to tell me what I intuitively already knew. Virtue is the perfect morality effectuated by instinct, as opposed to laws or rules. In other words, one is not virtuous by following rules in a book or a doctrine. One is virtuous by instinctively knowing, and thereby acting upon, what he or she inherently knows to be the perfect expression of love, mercy, empathy, and forgiveness in action. And the only example of said Virtue to have walked this earth, to my very limited knowledge, was Jesus of Nazareth.
I admit that my experiences with Catholicism and all other forms of Christian doctrines initially prevented me from allowing the light within its Scriptures to find its way into my heart. But, thankfully, love is patient and knows no bounds.
As it relates to the biblical narrative of our human incarnation and presence on this earth, I was initially disappointed with what I read in the Book of Genesis. God created man and made him lord above every other creature. Man was lonely and didn't discover suitable company among any of God's creatures, therefore God put man into a deep sleep, removed a rib from his body and made a woman. Their only instruction was not to eat from the Tree of Knowledge, but of everything else they could eat—including the Tree of Life, which was also in the Garden of Eden.
Then enters the serpent, which we are led to understand then approached Eve and started a dialogue with her about the Tree of Knowledge. We are further led to understand that the serpent was Satan, the fallen angel named Lucifer (in Latin Lux Fero, which means bringer of light), also known as the Morning Star.
Eve faithfully reported that they were permitted to eat of everything in the Garden of Eden except from the Tree of Knowledge, because if they did certain death would follow. The serpent responded that the threat of death was a false threat, that instead their eyes would be opened and they would know the difference between good and evil and presumably be like the other immortals (angels).
When I first read the narrative I couldn't help but feel confused. Obviously it's impossible to know what our lives would be like without truth and knowledge, especially that of knowing the contrast and differences between good and evil. And for centuries Christian pastors have been shouting from the pulpits of various denominations that our Paradise was robbed from us by Satan’s lies and Eve’s disobedience to God's law.
So what exactly was God's plan? Was the Garden of Eden meant to be our little aquarium of perfection where we would multiply like rabbits and remain oblivious to the truth? Was ignorance and blind obedience God's plan for Paradise?
Because it stands to reason that in the moment we delete knowledge from humanity we take away everything we understand about our humanity. Our strengths and weaknesses, in whatever way they manifest themselves, not only bring out the very best of us, they likewise bring us to the doorstep of virtues like love, mercy, empathy, and forgiveness. Yes, our strengths and weaknesses also show us the worst of us; but by knowing that part of ourselves and being aware of it we are also saved by it. Because knowledge presents us with a choice, and without such a choice there are none of the aforementioned virtues.
For years I studied many aspects of Christianity in an attempt to defeat the doubts in my heart and mind about the supposed truths being revealed in the Scriptures. I was drawn to human genius like a moth to a flame, but something told me that genius in itself was not enough. Which was why I was so mesmerized by the gospel stories of Jesus of Nazareth, because he didn't just bring genius to the table of humanity, he also brought Virtue.
The gospels tore through my meager human existence and limited understanding like another atom bomb. For the first time I felt like there was someone speaking, doing, and altogether demonstrating that our human genius was only a small part of our potential and purpose. That until we added Virtue, our individual and collective geniuses were nothing more than entertaining distractions and maybe even our own worst enemies. Everything that I read and studied left me convinced that Jesus of Nazareth was quite possibly the finest example of human and divine Virtue to ever walk the earth. Which in many ways left me even more troubled because I didn't find or feel that same Virtue in any of the branches of Christianity that I had observed and studied.
All I saw in religion was people trying to enter Paradise through the very same ineffectual laws and rules in the times of Jesus Christ. They were repeating prayers, singing songs, exercising rituals, and definitely demonstrating their genius in outward actions of recruitment and charity. But, where was a Virtue?
I have lost count of how many priests, deacons and pastors I have questioned over the years in search of knowledge as it relates to the dichotomy between Christ’s message and the reality and shortcomings of the religions that have followed.
Catholics deferred from answering my questions by insisting that I follow the rites and rituals with blind faith and trust in His grace for my life. The Protestant answer was to trust in Scripture and that the answers would reveal themselves if my faith was sincere. Neither of them commented on the value of my own genius or experience in life, nor could they explain how a true follower of Christ could support something as counterintuitive to love as warfare for profit, world hunger, the death penalty, or a wrongful conviction.
I found myself in the very curious predicament simultaneously believing that Jesus Christ was in fact the light of the world, and that his followers were, if in fact they could be called that, misrepresenting the truth and knowledge He brought to us.
I was reminded that according to the biblical story of Genesis in the beginning we weren't created for knowledge or virtue. As long as we were obedient we would have free access to the Tree of Life and thereby be eternal, but as soon as our eyes were opened to knowledge and truth, that tree, too, was taken from us as we were expelled from the garden of our genesis.
Pastors of various Christian denominations across the globe preach that we have Satan to thank for our fallen state of mortality and sin. That had it not been for Satan in the form of a serpent we would already be eternal in the Garden of Eden, right now. But because our ancestors sought knowledge and truth we are damned by mortality. Our pain, our illnesses and ailments, and all the hardships that follow us from dust to dust is all because we sought truth and knowledge and the light of both were bestowed upon us by the Bringer of Light, and for some reason we should be upset and angered by the state of our circumstances.
Which is absurd! Yes, mortality is certainly inconvenient. But the alternative that was laid out for us was far worse: eternal darkness in the supposed bliss of oblivion. No thank you, I'll take mortality every time the choice is presented to me as long as it comes with knowledge and the choice of Virtue.
Which brings us back to the case of the fallen angel, the highest and most beautiful and powerful of all the angels who apparently rebelled when He did what his namesake and Virtue called on him to do: bringer of light. I can't help but notice that both Lucifer and Jesus are referred to as the Morning Star in the Bible. I can't help but notice that Jesus was also rebellious against rules when they attempted to displace His Virtue.
Are we to believe that God above all other powers and principalities condemned mankind because one of his first creations in the Garden of Eden ate of the forbidden fruit which He Himself placed within her reach? You can't truly know goodness unless you know what it isn't. The decision of our polarity is what makes us good and bad, depending on the circumstances. Unless of course we were just designed to be pets in a beautiful garden.
Let's say for the sake of argument that our humanity is condemned to death because of Eve’s decision in favor of knowledge and truth. She broke the only law, but didn't Jesus do the same? Did He not mock the Sabbath by curing someone? Did He not murder by sending his disciples off into the world to be murdered in His name? And what about the adulterous woman who had been rightfully arrested under the law? Did He not turn the law away from her? Did He not steal the labor of others to support Himself? Or bear false witness when Pilate demanded a defense against the accusations made against him by the Jews? He also coveted when He prayed for His disciples. Which means that if Jesus is Virtue, then Virtue must break all the commandments in favor of love, mercy, empathy and forgiveness.
We understand virtue as good moral conduct despite how difficult that might be in trying circumstances. Jesus did what He believed to be right based on His own inherent, internal compass, thereby setting the example and standard for us all to follow. Therefore virtue is not laws or rules, it's doing the right thing in any given circumstance which He did in every way imaginable so that there could be no doubt as to who He was.
If God created the contradiction of placing the Tree of Knowledge in our garden and then punishing us eternally for having utilized the curiosity and intellect given to us by Him, that would easily explain why the highest angel in command of the heavenly host rebelled, and I further understand why a third of the heavenly angels went with Him. What intelligent and loving being of creation who witnesses such injustice wouldn't do the same?
When Jesus dismissed the law in favor of mercy with the adulterous woman who had been rightfully arrested for her “crime,” he did so because it was a virtuous thing to do and He is all Virtue.
Who amongst us is without sin? This being the case, how could we possibly ever even sit at the feet of Virtue if for one moment we would ever accuse another of anything. People will say, “but we have laws in our society and those laws must be upheld for the benefit of our own safety and happiness.”
Fine, I say, but whenever you accuse someone, in that moment, you become a hypocrite. In that moment, you disregard and walk over everything Jesus taught us. In that moment, you declare yourself more than Him, which we all know is an impossibility and therefore that also makes you a liar.
Supposed “good” Christians cling to what Paul wrote in his letter to the Romans to follow laws and adhere to all authorities over and above what Jesus taught. Was Paul more than Jesus?
The most destructive words ever written by Paul might just be chapter 13 of Romans. He orders early Christians to obey authority because all authority is of God. So according to Paul, an apostle who never walked the earth at the side of Jesus, our Savior should have said nothing to the pharisees and never overturned the tables of the money changers in the temple when He witnessed their hypocrisy. Was Paul not also telling early followers to dismiss the same exercise of Virtue displayed by Jesus?
Within our own lifetimes we have all witnessed the epitome of evil from every government to one extent or another. Are we to understand that our knowledge, reason and virtue should all be ignored in favor of their hypocrisy? Of course not.
If Jesus is truly the greatest of all men and God incarnate, then He should be loved, obeyed, and emulated above everyone. Furthermore, if He is a prince and this be His kingdom and thereby commands a thing to be done, even against the laws or rules of any people, though it sets a new precedent and has never been done before, it is to be done now; and if what is being ordered was previously a law but now forgotten, it is to be restored; and if it's something that was never before ordered, it shall now be so. Because it is lawful for a prince, in the state or kingdom where he reigns, to command that which no one before him, not even himself, has ordered, and to obey cannot be against our common interests because obeying princes is the general compact of human society. Therefore, how much more readily should we obey He who is all Virtue when nobody is more virtuous than He who paid the ultimate price for all of us?
When we look at humanity and find ourselves marvelling over the beauty of human genius in all its splendour let us remind ourselves that without virtue genius is nothing.
When we look at the apparent genius in talented individuals across our globe, whether they be musicians, athletes, inventors, intellectuals, writers, innovators, leaders, teachers, parents, or just people who for any given reason you admire, remember that their genius is only possible because of Eve’s defiance. Without knowledge we would have no genius, and without genius no Virtue.
I recognize that prior to the 1798, when the French army marched on Rome and arrested the pope, I would likely have been burned alive at the stake as a heretic for what I have just written. But as I consider the apparent tyranny of our genesis, the rebellion of angels, and the blessings of both our individual and collective geniuses I am convinced that I will always choose the light of knowledge over the darkness of ignorance and bliss. And had it not been Eve eating from the Tree of Knowledge it would have been someone else, and if not someone else then it would have been me.
I will choose knowledge over immortality every time the choice is presented to me, in every form and in every life and I will be grateful to that Bringer of Light for that knowledge. It might be inconvenient to be thrown into the fires of hell, but I will always choose light over the darkness of ignorance and tyranny. I choose Virtue and everything it implies, and I will not deny the truth of my genesis. Amen.
(Note: 1st Image; Lucifer the Fallen Angel by Álvaro Jiménez; 2nd Image; Fallen Angel by luulhussein.blogspot.com; 3rd Image; Lucifer Falling from Heaven by Deep Dream Generator)